My family and I celebrated Christmas and New Years on January 3rd. My kids had been out of town with their father visiting his family during Christmas. I got to spend time visiting all kinds of friends and then made a small trip to visit relatives with my sister. It was such a relaxing time! Sharing christmas cheer when and where we can is good for the soul! Not worrying about exact dates is also so invigorating! Now that the New Year is here, many folks turn their thoughts to change and resolve. Many folks think in terms of their health and physical appearance. I know people who will be making awesome changes this year. One family is supporting 2 more children that do not have parents in Africa. Others are donating to help build wells in countries where they have no good drinking water. If it were up to me, there wouldn’t be anyone hungry or in need of fresh water or basic comforts that we all so enjoy.
As for me, I’m working closer to home. I’ve been volunteering at the local food bank. Our community is a small, rural community with no industry to speak of. A lot of the successful folks commute to Denver for work. Most of the people who stay up here are tradesmen and lately work is a bit scarce. All kinds of people come to the food bank. And I discovered that I knew about 30% of them! There were some that were embarrassed that I saw them there-not realizing that I not only volunteer but take home food as well. Some folks asked me to pray for their spouses who finally got interviews. Others were so genuinely grateful because they had absolutely no money for food. Then there were those who had just gotten jobs and most of their money was going for the gas to get there. Others were fighting court battles and still others were getting food for the sick and disabled. There were single moms with their babies, families of 6 and then a woman who’s family has grown to 10 as she has started taking in relatives that have fallen on to hard times. One veteran had to show me all of his war wounds (eeuwe) Pokes from fuji sticks, and a scar from where the enemy hung him by one arm for 182 days! (Thank God there are people in the world who will sacrifice that way for my freedom!) And then, an old neighbor came in. I’ve always known her as a very hard worker. She had tears in her eyes as she shared with me how badly she needs a job. I could feel her shame in being there. And so I asked her join me in helping. We had plenty to do and 3 helpers had just left and another load of food was coming in. Plus we needed to re-stock some areas. We started her with a cup of coffee. I have never seen someone enjoy a cup of coffee as much as she did. It was cold out and you could see her warming up and her heart being warmed as well. Her eyes went from teary to bright and thankful and she worked her tail off for the rest of the day.
Our society is so good at glorifying the haves and shunning the have-nots. To the point that people are afraid to ask for help or embarrassed. What a meaningful year it would be if we could help out the less fortunate in our communities. Have your family chip in on a gas card for someone you know needs the gas. Bake some cookies for a hungry neighbor and slip in a gift card to the local supermarket. Stock your local food banks and spread the good cheer! Let there be peace on earth and goodwill to ALL men!
Happy New Year!
Food for Thought Part 2
February 8th, 2010Food For Thought
January 5th, 2010Ahhhhhh, the holidays! Good ol holidays. Decorate, shop, cook, bake, eat. Shop, wrap, hide. Shop, wrap, box, and mail. Hang the lights, re-decorate. Pick the cards, sign, address, stamp, and mail. Rush, rush, rush. Holiday shows, programs, parties and get-togethers. And what is it all for? To show everyone how much we love them? To spread holiday cheer? Most of the time we are too busy to show any love during this mad rush. And to top it off, we do things like ignore our kids, while baking the perfect Christmas gift to save money, we announce, “You better be good for goodness sake!.” Possibly even, “You want coal in your stocking?”. Yes, tis the season to be jolly. But truly, it is a season of undue stress.
Just being with your whole family can be terribly stressful! At the restaurant, where I work, I see people drink more alcohol around their families than at any other time of year. Yes, families are supposed to love each other but sometimes people in our families are the hardest for us to love. Then there are the work parties where everyone tends to drink too much. The imbibers will also have to worry about how that effects their job! That is, if you have one… and that brings me to the meat of this blurb.
These are different times. The media tells us that the recession is over and the economy is getting better. If you are not working, these statements just taunt your soul. If you happen to be working at a job, beneath your skill level, just to support your family, that’s just another jab to your self-esteem. Providing for a family is a monumental task. It is the foundation of a father’s life. When the foundation is not provided, it upsets the balance and health of the providers mind. Sometimes, as the mom, you are the sole provider and the same holds true for you.
My sister lost her job in June. She had been in the same profession for over 20 years! She always gave us the best presents! She’s a dink! (Double income, no children). This year, she is asking that we not exchange gifts. I am the “queen” of great home-made gifts so I am suggesting that we get creative. But not everyone is creative so here are a few suggestions.
1) Re-gift! Do you have jewelry you don’t wear? A candle that has never been burned? If you look around, I’m sure you can find something that will delight someone else.
I love home-made gifts, the thought that goes into them. I also love music. One of the favorite gifts I received recently, was a home-made cd. My friend put some time and effort into the songs she picked and I enjoy it tremendously! The awesome selections not only put a smile on my face but I get to smile and think about the wonderful friend who made it for me.
Gently used books. I’m sure you have a book you can spare. Share your favorite adventures with someone! You can support your local library at the same time! Many have bags of books for a buck that you can purchase and distribute.
And if you don’t like any of these options, you can always check out your local charities. Another place to find great gifts! Goodwill, Arc and your local second hand stores! For kids, there is an endless supply of goodies there and believe me, as long as it is wrapped, they will love it!
Your home computer can be utilized for making great gifts as well. How about personalized stationary or greeting cards?
Aside from gifts, we are left with the rush of the season. How can we better deal with this? I was born a rebel and I’m a bit anti-establishment. If you can follow my thoughts I dare you to do the following. Why not have Christmas a week later? Ya know what’s better than black friday? After Christmas sales! If your family is Christian, you can use the day the 3 kings actually arrive to see Jesus which some say is 3 weeks after Christmas, since that’s when gifts were brought to Jesus. A bit more creative is having Christmas every month! Divide up those cards and gifts into 12 months and send someone different a gift each month. Seems like the true spirit of Christmas to me. Plus, everyone gets bombarded with gifts in Dec. What a nice surprise to get something in say, March? And if you spread the card sending out, it doesn’t seem so daunting and it lightens the load you spend at the post office all at once.
Finally, what about the purpose of all this? The reason for the season? Isn’t this the season to show people how much we care? Shouldn’t we be showing them what we care about? Spending? Feeding the machine-perpetuating commercialism? That is the message we send when we make gifts the top priority. I’m not saying gifts are bad-Everyone loves gifts, including me! It’s the “gotta have the latest and greatest, one more thing – so you won’t be outdone by your neighbors-that the kids will only play with once-and you’ll be asking them to pick up off the floor for the next year” kind of attitude that can go right out with 2009.
Just like new food or dieting, I hope you will find some of these ideas helpful. And of course, You’ll never know unless you try!
Power of the tongue
November 6th, 2009Among my childhood memories, there is one lingering behavior I just can’t give up. That would be cracking the ice in frozen puddles. Early morning bus-stop walks with my son present this opportunity repeatedly. I am very particular about the way I crack ice. As a child, I would get so annoyed when someone else jumped up high and landed on the ice as hard as they could. All the ice would crack in one short burst. Me, I liked to see how much damage I could do with the least amount of effort. It was an extra bonus if you could get a great, long, cracking noise along with it. Starting with just the toes, I would tap the edge of the ice. That approach would give me a clue as to how deep the puddle was and about how fragile the ice was. Then, I’d apply a bit more pressure to see how the cracks ran. Oh, the joy and power that comes from delicately destroying something! My delicate approach still allowed someone to come after me and blast it all away with one big jump and, then, we both got our “jollies.” It was like breaking a window without consequences.
On our bus stop walk today, as I embarked on this ice-cracking adventure, I thought about the fragility of our children’s hearts. Often, the “crack” begins with a word that has the potential to destroy their spirit. Much like the ice-jumper, one word can quickly smash a child’s esteem. And then there’s the more subtle use of words. The manipulations and guilt trips that are more akin to the small cracks that are barely visible, yet, are still damaging. Our small tongues are so powerful! People are hurt more by words than most other means. And once those words are spoken, you can’t “unspeak” them! The damage is done.
All is not lost though. There is hope. Like a large ship in the ocean, guided with a small rudder, our tongues can guide our whole body. If you realize you have gotten off course with your words, you can correct it. Experts will tell you that for every negative, verbal mistake we make, we can combat it with at least a minimum of two positive communications. More than two increases the healing! It’s like pulling out a weed and replacing it with two beautiful flowers. Oh, the gardens we could grow if we would just think before we spoke!
Like the fit athlete, we need discipline and commitment to stay strong and effective. We need to practice kindness and humility. Remember how it feels when you receive words of encouragement in contrast to how it feels when you are criticized. Will corrected tongues happen overnight? No. Are we going to screw up? Yes. Another healing balm is telling our kids we are sorry when we realize our mistakes. This demonstrates to our kids that even parents can be wrong sometimes. And, it shows them that admitting our wrongs is a way of helping both of us to heal! We need each other! If our goal is to grow healthy, loving children, then we will press on and strive for it. In addition to great books on this subject, you can find a mentor to help you. Try seeking out an older mom that seems to have it together. Even a grandmother. You can find them at the library, your church, and, even in your own family or local mother’s groups like MOPs and Mothers and More. These experienced moms are a wealth of experience and insight and I’m sure you won’t regret making the connection.
Thank God for moms’ groups! In my case, we moved to a rural community where we didn’t know anyone and had no family. I felt so alone when our first was born. One of my neighbors told me about MOPS. I was scared to join a bunch of ladies who met at a church. Plus, I figured I had absolutely nothing in common with any of them. It didn’t take long to realize that once you’re a mom, you’ve entered a pretty big club and now have something in common with every other mom. That common ground is simply this… babies don’t come with instructions! Before I had kids. I was Miss Mellow, a very easy-going person. But then, the kids pushed buttons I didn’t even know I had! I had to learn how to deal with these new emotions without completely losing it! It’s a trip to realize that children really aren’t born completely innocent. What’s more, they’re going to learn how to deal with life from you and how you react to things! I am so grateful for the people around me and the experience they shared with me so that we all have made it this far without too much damage.
Being as imperfect as we are, it’s OK to ask for help. And when you do, you will find there is no short supply of people to help. So I am wondering if you feel like an ice-cracker sometimes. Have you found other ways to tame your tongue? Or, have you learned how to make up for it once the words have escaped? Do you have a mentor? Let us all know about it!
Moving right along!
September 2nd, 2009Once again, It’s me! And yes, it’s been a while. I miss you too!
Soooo, guess how my makeover is going? Not bad! I haven’t worked one-on-one with Katy since Feb., yet, I’m holding my own! I’ve been fluctuating tween 155 and 160 pounds. Not bad since I started at 187! Katy taught me so much about how my body handles food and how to regulate our own bodies so they function better. Much like a well-tuned car. And regular exercise has become a habit instead of a chore. I want to thank Katy from the bottom of my heart for all she has done for me! I definitely take up less space (one lady told me that that was awfully “green” of me) in the world and I’m healthier. Who could dis’ that?
I am very excited about the new MomMakeover Show that is in production now. We have a new mom, Kellie, who is willing to share her battle with you. And I am quite optimistic that with Katy’s help, and all of our support, she will be able to lose the 200 pounds she desires to shed. Won’t you tune in and encourage her in her food fight? Maybe you know someone who can relate. Kellie has quite the story to share with you and we can all share in her victory over over-eating!
While Kellie shares on-camera, that leaves me more time to do what I do better (would have said “best”-but I can do other things best). I don’t particularly like being on camera. I’d much rather share stories through words and other people’s pictures. Look for more regular updates on this blog and, soon, I will be adding a photo gallery.
Have you seen the latest Save that Marriage? How about Janice and Randy? Do you think they are on a better path? Relationships can be so difficult sometimes. I am glad that they are brave and confident enough to let us glimpse their struggles and resolutions. Do you like Jami’s advice about Love and Respect? I can see that being the root of so many problems. Then again, when I was in my relationship, I didn’t feel love or respect and that made it really hard, so I could definitely relate when Janice asked “What about him respecting me?” or something similar. But I could also totally relate with Randy’s walking out when Janice said she’d be better off without him. How is anyone supposed to respond to that? Maybe you have faced a similar situation and have some real life experience that can help these two. Share it here!
Hello Moms!
February 20th, 2009Welcome to Channelmom.com. This is our first post.
So, how is the New Year treating you? Good ol’ 2009. I’m having a tough go of it. I am Vivian, from Mom Makeover, and although you can’t see me yet, we can still chat about what’s been going on. First off, I need to tell you that I did not intend to go on Katy’s plan and lose weight. I was quite content with myself. My sister had mentioned that I should lose weight for health reasons and because my knees bothered me, but other than that, I was secure with my weight. I did notice that people gave me a lot of room when I passed them in the hallway. Also, I was bumping more people when passing in an aisle. I didn’t get it. I had a good view of myself. So much that I believe I have magic mirrors! Boy, I was shocked when I saw pictures of myself because that is not who I saw in the mirror. Who was that larger person in the pictures? Then Katy approached me about her plan. It kind-of really sunk in then. I must be getting way out of shape if Trainers are approaching me! But it is a blessing! And the idea for the show was formed as I started training. Cause if I can do it, anyone can!
Appearance is a funny thing. I used to think that anyone who looked at themselves more than a few times a day was vain. Especially if you applied make-up more than twice a day. I have never dieted in my life-thinking this was another vain act. I did not want to be obsessed with my looks. I wanted to be low maintenance and I did not want to be vain.
I am a person who has changed my life in a lot of ways. Food was my last indulgence. “What you see is what you get” and “let it all hang out” were the themes of my life. Most people saw me as a down to earth, natural kind of person. In my early years, I spent a lot of time partying. Kids changed my life drastically and they became the priority. I think that is one reason I couldn’t see what was happening to me. I was always more concerned with everyone else. Now, with my kids growing up, I have more me time. And that is why I decided to do this program. As you will see, the program consists of nutrition and exercise. I was not used to limiting food in any way. I was one of those moms who finished the kids plates. The point is, changing my way of eating was hell for me! Usually I am very easy going but limiting my food turned me into a growling wombat. There were times that I was not the nicest person to be around. I battle with the eating all the time. I am getting much better at it and I whine and complain more that I don’t follow the plan. Still there are times when I feel I deserve to eat whatever I want, whenever I want and it grates me not to. I am so lucky that I have people I can call and complain too! This helps me stick to the plan. Katy is also a wonderful trainer who understands our human behavior and encourages me even when I gain weight.
And so, my dear, fellow moms, I have a few questions for you.
What do you think is vain behavior or vanity?
And how and what are ways that you stay commited to changes you make in your life?
Share and encourage other moms as we battle the bulge!