Are Mommy Bloggers Whiners?
A friend of mine who does not have kids recently admitted she thinks a lot of mom blogs seem chock full of whining and complaining. She said she often thinks, “Why did you do it then?” It got me thinking….
In the quest to be honest about the trials of parenthood, have bloggers said too much about poop smeared on the walls, frequent temper tantrums and the struggle to get everyone out the door without killing them?
Knowing what I do now, could I truly convince people to become parents if the future population depended on it? I mean, without mentioning the funny kid sayings, the toddler giggles or the joy of watching the sweet face of your sleeping infant? Well, here goes…
I recommend becoming a parent because I have learned about myself – An author/life coach once spoke at my moms’ group about better understanding the personality types of children (check out “I May Frustrate You But I’m a Keeper” by Ray Lincoln). After hearing his descriptions of each personality type, it was easy for me to pick out the types belonging to both my children and my husband. But I realized I wasn’t sure which type I was. Even more shocking, when I took the personality test in the book, my daughter’s personality was the same as mine. This is my kid who gets her feelings hurt at the drop of a tiny plastic princess! It forced me to try to figure out where I had lost track of myself over the years. This is no easy feat (and I’ll spare you the details), but I wonder if I would still be oblivious to myself if I hadn’t had children.
I recommend becoming a parent because I have made great friends – Through my involvement with a moms’ group and just by hanging out at kid-friendly places, I have connected with many smart, funny and admirable women thanks to my kids. They’ve seen my kids have tantrums in the park and hung out with me even on “no-shower days.” We’ve exercised together, laughed over drinks, cried a little and shared details of our lives that will bond us long after our kids don’t want to hang out anymore.
I recommend becoming a parent because I have been forced to change bad behaviors into better ones – When I raise my voice to my kids, thinking (mistakenly) that NOW they’ll listen… my daughter yells louder. In fact, she recently said to me, “Mom, I get angry because you get angry.” I can’t out-scream her. I don’t want to overpower her and damage our relationship; however, I can work on taking deep breaths before I speak, not lashing out in anger, saying encouraging things instead of critical things and laying off the sarcasm. As tough as it is to see the not-so-nice parts of your personality coming back at you through a tiny face and a high-pitched voice, for me, it was the only way I would see it. And I’m pretty sure that learning to control myself can benefit me in many other areas of life than just child-rearing.
I could keep listing the benefits of having children, but I hope the kid-skeptics are convinced. For some of you, these things might happen anyway with age and maturity, but for me, I don’t think so. I’m proud to say my greatest teachers, so far, have been anything but mature.